All 32 achievements
32 achievements. One was pulled in 1.02 until it is reworked.
Steam listed 32 achievements on 27 September 2026. Global unlock rates below are the public percentages that day, not a difficulty ranking. 1.02 fixed "Guess I'm A Gold Digger Now", which was not tracking, and removed "With Great Pizza Comes Great Responsibility" until it is reworked. If a guide still lists that pizza achievement, it is gone from the client.
Opening hours
| Achievement | How it unlocks | Global % |
|---|---|---|
| I'm Just Here For The Pizza | Serve a pizza once | 94 |
| Get Your Hands Dirty | Finish the first shady trade | 94 |
| Things Got Serious | Find out why you are here | 93 |
| You Made It Through | Survive the first day | 92 |
| A Sucker Punch? | Punch an NPC once | 90 |
| Are You a Fashion Victim? | Buy a costume once | 88 |
| What's Your Favorite Topping | Serve pizzas 25 times | 80 |
The shop and the town
| Achievement | How it unlocks | Global % |
|---|---|---|
| To The Moon! | Trade bitcoin once | 57 |
| Like a Ferris Wheel | Serve 19 pizzas to Case | 47 |
| Pay Attention to Details | Decorate the shop once | 41 |
| Enjoy Your Break | Get killed once | 29 |
| Show Me The Money | Earn 100,000 from the business | 21 |
| Expanding Your Territory | Unlock the vending machines | 19 |
| So You Give The Orders Now Huh? | Hire an employee once | 18 |
| Some Passive Aggressive Income | Collect from a vending machine once | 18 |
| Oh Okay, I Guess It Helps Me Get Away | Buy a skateboard | 17 |
| Let It Cook! | Serve a pizza from the automated oven | 14 |
| Always Pays His Debts | Pay half the debt | 12 |
| This Is How I Roll | Crash the skateboard once | 2 |
| Guess I'm A Gold Digger Now | Dig up a chest. Tracking was fixed in 1.02 | 1 |
Percentages are the public Steam stats figure for that day, shown as a whole number. A brand-new 1.0 campaign will not match an Early Access profile's rates.
The long tail
| Achievement | How it unlocks | Global % |
|---|---|---|
| Fully Encrypted Dough | Every talent on the dark web tree | 12 |
| Some Hands-On Customer Service | Personally deliver 5 different dark web items | 7 |
| Special Delivery, Extra Mutagen | Serve three pizzas to the people in the sewers | 6 |
| Fifty Shades Of Shady | Finish 50 shady quests | 4 |
| A Little Too Well Done | Overcook pizza 10 times | 3 |
| Smooth Criminal | Earn 1,000 BTC from shady quests | 1 |
| These Aren't All For Cooking, Right? | Collect 3 different mushrooms | 0 |
| No Questions About The Topppings | Serve 10 Shady Pizzas | 0 |
| A Slice Of Another Dimension | Cook a Lucid Pizza | 0 |
| Loyalty Points On The Dark Side | Buy 100 shady items | 0 |
| Ok. It's Done... | Finish the main story. The in-game name is the long thank-you line | 0 |
"Stay Cool Stay Focused" — 20 shady quests — sat at 65% and belongs with the early shady loop, not this table. It is the bridge between the first trade and the 50-quest achievement.
Story completion being under 1% two days after 1.0 is expected. The campaign is the debt, not a one-hour ending. Half the debt is its own achievement, well before the credits.
